From Facebook:
"Having a hard time putting today in perspective. It was typical. Lots of tantrums but still got work done. Working with each other's children went okay. The boys cried a bit but we worked through it."
Seven hours later, and I still can't seem to get a clear focus of what went on today. We did make it to 11:20 with programming, by some miracle. I'll try to put things down to the best of my ability, but I've been struggling with a major headache all day, and Ryan's been crying most of the day. Thankfully, Daddy got home and was willing to take over for a bit, so I can sit here and blah blah about how blah my day has been. Ah, cathartic blogging.
Anyway, the morning started with Kevin refusing to go to school today. This has been going on for about a week now. He screams and cries, and refuses to get dressed. He bemoans the days until March Break. Then Andrea gets going about how much she hates school, too. Kevin is worse, though, because he will start "not feeling good" (physical symptoms of anxiety) and then cry and whine about staying home. This morning, Daddy literally had to drag him down the hallway to get him dressed. After 30 minutes of reasoning, sometimes, you just have to get moving.
And you know when one gets worked up, it sets off the others. Kevin and Andrea started fighting, and then Ryan started crying, but Daddy marched the older two out the door. Ryan, however, continued to cry, and I was halfway to the S.C. before he stopped.
Then we got to S.C., and we got out of the car. It's cold, but sunny out, and Ryan enjoyed the walk to up the driveway to the front door. I buzzed the doorbell; no one answered. I waited a minute, and buzzed again; no one answered. Now Ryan was getting restless and trying to walk away. We waited another minute. No one answered. I buzzed again. No one answered. Ryan was starting to fuss now, and trying to sit down on the steps. I knocked on the door. We'd been waiting outside for 5 minutes (yes, I checked my watch, because I thought maybe my timing was off?). Finally, after another 30 seconds or so, the secretary cheerily answered the door. Usually, someone answers the door within 10-15 seconds of the doorbell. Was everybody busy? Geez.
So, I was irritated because by the time we got up the stairs (Ryan was lagging because he was grouchy again), we had lost 7 minutes of time. I always get there early now, so Ryan can have a wagon ride in the morning. He goes straight to the wagon as soon as we hang up our coats and "asks" for a ride; it's part of our routine now. Well, we had lost our time for that this morning, and he was not happy.
Ryan did, however, eagerly follow me out of the Yellow Room after our morning song. He wanted to "stand up" and go before anyone else was ready! Usually, it takes a lot of coaxing/prompting to get him to "stand up" and "follow Mama."
Today was an important day because it was the first time we were going to work with each other's child. This is something we will continue to do, a few days a week, over the next few weeks. It helps the boys generalize their skills, and it exposes us to working with other children and different levels of ABA programs (so I guess we're generalizing our skills, too!). D. worked with me and J., while H. came in and worked with Ryan and L.A. We quickly discussed our programs we would work on with the boys, and then split up. We were all still in the Blue Room, but working in different areas.
For our first program, right at the start of the morning, L.A. did the shape sorter with Ryan, and I did "function of objects" with J. So, I was asking J. a series of questions like, "What do we use to drive?" and J. was to answer, "a car." J. likes dinosaurs, so he got to play with his dinosaurs when he got a correct answer. When it was incorrect, I asked him again and modeled the correct answer, and then repeated the question. Then he would give me a correct answer. He did well on the questions, considering how upset he was! I don't think he understood why I was working with him, and not his mom. He cried and kept looking over at his mom behind us, and saying "My mommy!" and "Ryan my mommy!" (It was like, "Why does Ryan have my mommy?") I felt so bad. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, and he was feeling anxious, but I just wanted to give him his mommy and make him feel better!
We tried again later in the morning, after snack. This time, L.A. did the chunky puzzle with Ryan, while I did patterning with J. This time, J. seemed more relaxed about working with me, but he got mad because I kept taking his toys (reinforcers) away, so he would refocus and fill in the pattern for me. The patterns consisted of strips of pictures like car, chair, car, chair, etc. and the last one was left with a Velcro spot to put on the right picture to continue the pattern. After reading through the pattern with him, I would stop and offer two pictures (the right one and a distractor) for him to pick one to finish the pattern. I think we did 5 strips, and he got all 5 patterns correct! He's a bright little guy, but I was having trouble with the transition from giving him the reinforcer back to okay, it's time to do the next pattern. J. has a strong grasp, and I was uncomfortable trying to pull the reinforcers away from him. I gladly let D. step in for that part. I'm fine with taking reinforcers away from Ryan because he usually doesn't resist. I don't want to make another person's child cry by taking his toys away, even if it is part of the program. That's just me. It's hard enough seeing Ryan upset, but it's even tougher to see J. upset on account of something I did (even if I was doing the right thing).
As for Ryan, it seemed like his time with L.A. went fairly smoothly. Both times, I think the toughest part for them was getting Ryan to sit down and focus on the work. I know for the after-snack session, he was trying to get out the door! But once they got him to sit down and focus on the task, I didn't notice any fuss.
Like I've said previously, the rest of the day is kind of a blur. There was plenty of Ryan crying, fussing, and tantrums. D. got out the iPad, but at a certain point, even that lost its appeal for Ryan.
But here is the one thing that worked, and thus the title of my entry today: The Wagon. At one point, D. suggested we go do something that might calm him down in the Rainbow Room. When Ryan headed for the wagon, D. said it was okay, as long as we were doing something constructive. So, I practiced manding, by stopping now and then and waiting for him to sign for "more." On our first round, we got about three independent "more"s! Plus, he was way more relaxed in the wagon; there was only a bit of fussing the time or two he didn't quite sign properly, and I wouldn't pull the wagon until I got a proper "more" out of him (with elbow prompt). He loves the wagon rides.
Twice, later in the morning, we went into the Rainbow Room and Ryan went right over and no, he didn't just "ask" for a wagon ride. He climbed in by himself and sat down. The first time I looked over at D. and said, "He has never done that on his own before. We've been helping him by putting one leg over and getting him to do some effort getting in, but he's never been able to get in by himself!" D. said, "Well, he's motivated, so take him for a ride!" So up and down the hallway we went. This time, he did the more sign independently almost every time I paused the wagon!
At the end of the day, when it was time to leave, was the second time Ryan went over and got into the wagon by himself. How could I refuse? Away we went, up and down the hall, and again, he made several independent signs for "more" (a few times he still needed the prompt). By this time, it was 11:20, and we'd had a full day. D. said, "Extra points for extending the day!" We all thoroughly believed Ryan and I were going to have a short day, with the way things went, but the wagon rides helped get him calmed and energized for a few extra programs. In fact, at 11:20, when I parked the wagon and said, "All done; time to go home!" Ryan insistently signed for "more!" Okay, so he got one more cruise up and down the hallway. By that point, I wanted to leave. Ryan, however, probably would've been content to ride in that wagon for another hour! I had to lift him out.
When we left, he gave D. a good wave "bye-bye," with me doing a forearm prompt. (It's moved back from the wrist prompt--progress!).
Ryan fell asleep in the car on the way home. He slept through a stop at the gas station and a drive through the car wash; he slept through me carrying him in and peeling off his coat and shoes. He slept until right before we had to pick up Andrea and Kevin from school!
He had one happy-hyper burst of energy around 5 PM, which I capitalized on and we did his homework at that time. He did great with the homework., except for "stand up" and "follow Mama"; he was too hyper to pay attention to boring old Mom.
A half hour later, he was bawling again. Daddy got a taste of the Ryan tantrum when he got home; it was a rough one, where Ryan had lost control of himself, and was running around screaming and flailing. I finally managed to soothe Ryan enough to get him to sit in the rocking chair with Daddy, and now here we are. I still hear Ryan fussing occasionally, but I'm in here, typing up the snippets I can remember from my foggy, stressed-out, exhausted brain.
What I learned today: If Ryan needs to calm down, take him for a wagon ride!
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