Unity Day 5: Downs and Ups, Ups and Downs

From Facebook:

"Day 5: Ryan was up-and-down again today, but it was manageable. Later did some research and theory (just the moms and the clinical director, every Friday) while the boys played with the student volunteers. We made it to 10:45, and Ryan was calm when we left."

I think Ryan and I both went in feeling tired and a bit emotionally up and down today. Maybe it was just that feeling of winding down after an intense experience adjusting to our first week. I managed to get settled in and motivated to work, but Ryan was "off and on" today. At least his crying and fussing was less intense, and we were able to get some participation from him.

Today we worked with T., another new lead therapist for us.  I think maybe they're rotating us through everyone to have a chance for all the main Unity people to work with both children and get to know the boys. (?) Anyway, T. was very kind and helpful. I must say, we haven't met anyone at Summit Centre who isn't supportive, knowledgeable, and great with the kids.

Anyhow, back to Ryan's morning.  We tried a few new things, like covering a ball Ryan wanted with a towel and asking him, "Where's the ball?" He knew it was under the towel; he was grabbing at the lumpy towel, but then we guided him HOH to take the towel off the ball to reveal it.  After a few more times, he started tugging at the towel, and eventually, he pulled the towel off himself a few times when we hid the ball under the towel, and then asked him where it was.   

He was interested in his reinforcement toys today (although I was a bit annoyed that one reinforcer he particularly liked had disappeared from his basket, and we couldn't find it!).  We used those to work on some manding again.  This time, we used a tally counter (hand-held clicker) to keep track of how many good mands he made in a period of 5 minutes.  I believe we got about 9 mands in 5 minutes, which was pretty good, considering Ryan was in a lazy and grumpy mood. However, T. emphasized that it's not necessarily the number of mands that Ryan does, but the quality/appropriateness of them, and seeing a general increase over time. Ryan did some manding with HOH pointing when he reached for something (like the bead-maze toy), but he wasn't really into verbalizing or signing "more" today. At least, I didn't hear/see any attempts.

Physically, Ryan was a wet noodle today, all limp and floppy. He didn't want to sit up straight on his own; he wanted to lean on me (or whoever else would let him), and even tried to lay on the floor a few times in the middle of our activities. He got a lot of reinforcement today for simply sitting up nicely when prompted and participating in our activities. It also took him a while to stand up while I was prompting him by standing and gently taking both his hands, paired with a verbal command to stand up.  Most times it took him awhile to stand (going from hanging limply onto my hands to slowly easing himself up), but once or twice he stood up with minimal prompting.

We did get a little bit of imitation going on, which was a good skill to see. There was a Pooh-bear piano/musical toy. T. was pressing the buttons and saying, "Now Ryan play the piano." We had to HOH it a few times, but then we saw him press the buttons a few times on his own (after verbal prompts), too. He also liked a spinning character on top of the toy, so we showed him how to spin that, then asked him to do it.  He did it once or twice after verbal commands, but mostly enjoyed just exploring the toy on his own.  We also tried to do imitation with shaking some maracas, but I had to HOH most of the imitations and keep blocking Ryan from mouthing the maraca. Really, he just didn't seem as engaged today.

By the end of this, he was crying a little and getting frustrated, and since circle was next, I took him for a walk to give him a break from the interactions for a bit.  He liked the walk down the long hallway, but was still a bit whiny.  T. got out the bubbles to coax him into circle time, so we decided to go give it a try.  They kept it low-key, and Ryan was reinforced for simply sitting and paying attention during circle.  He didn't want to participate much, but he did do "Roll the Ball," which is one part of circle he really likes. The main point was he ended circle in a good mood.

Next we started our Friday routine, which is the moms participating in some research questionnaires with the graduate student, B., and then going to discuss theory with Dr. G. in her office. During this time, the boys would be under the care of the student volunteers, who would play with them.

I overheard Ryan crying pretty hard a couple of times when I first went down the hall to do the research, which was distressing for me, even though I knew he was in great hands.  By the time research was done, I didn't hear Ryan, so I figured he had settled.  They told me later that Ryan had been upset a bit, then settled when he was taken for a wagon ride with his Unity-mate, then been mad again when the wagon rides stopped. However, he was quietly snuggled with a student volunteer and exploring some toys when we were done theory, and they said he'd settled down in the STR.

Meanwhile, the other mom and I had gone to do the theory portion in Dr. G.'s office. I really enjoyed that.  It just gave us 3 a chance to discuss our feelings about "surviving" this first week, discussing some of the good things we'd seen (and some of the challenges), and have some of our questions answered. Today's big focus in theory was actually about social support: Who is there to help us moms among our friends/family/community while we're doing Unity? In what way can they help us avoid burn-out? What is one nice thing we are going to do this weekend for ourselves? How supportive are others of the idea of what we're doing with our children in this program? etc. I mentioned how I'd started Facebook and blogging to keep everyone updated, and how much support I was receiving from family and friends this way. I also talked about how it helped me put my own daily experiences at Unity into perspective. Dr. G. thinks this is a great idea. In fact, she said next week we'll be talking about the benefits of journaling!  She also suggested that she and some of the staff might gain something from reading my blog if I'd be willing to share it.  I'll admit, I had in the back of my mind that when I'm done, future/potential Unity participants might get something out of reading this. Also, to my surprise, when I reassured the other mom that I would keep her confidentiality, she said it was fine if I wanted to mention any shared experience/activities in some of the stories if her son was involved. I thought that was nice of her. As for Dr. G., I'm not sure I'm ready to share quite yet ... . It's only the end of Week 1, and my feelings are pretty fresh and jumbled and raw, you know?  But if it helps others in some way, I'd be glad to share sometime.