Unity Day 13: A Day of Opposites

From Facebook:

"Much better day today. We are changing up a lot of the programming as we begin to figure Ryan out. There is so much more in there than he's giving us ... We keep seeing glimpses of it ..."

I'm calling today "A Day of Opposites" because Ryan kept doing the opposite of what we expected. In general, it was a good thing! Overnight continued to be rough, and Ryan was up several times. He was very cranky as we got ready to go to Summit Centre.  Then, he fell asleep in the car about 2 minutes before we got there, and I had to wake him up. I didn't think it was an auspicious start, but once he opened his eyes, he seemed fairly calm.

I got a few good manding opportunities while Ryan was in the Rainbow Room. He was playing at the bottom of the slide, and trying to go down it. I took those attempts as a mand, and helped him to the top of the slide and going down. Then when he tried to go up on his own, I HOH'ed some "more"s from him.

After opening song, we had a chat about some changes in Ryan's goals/programming.  For example, he does "roll the ball" independently, so now we're officially starting "kick the ball."  At the end of the day, we sat Ryan on a chair in the Rainbow Room and tried to get him to kick the ball. Well, he just wanted to stand up and run over to L. for cuddles. So, we tried to use L.'s cuddles as our reinforcer. It kind of worked. I think we only got one intentional kick out of Ryan; the rest were more accidental as he hit the ball with his foot on his way over to tackle L.!

We will also be moving on from "push the car" soon; today we changed it to "push the train" on the train table in the Blue Room because he always goes to explore the train table, but wants to mouth the toys on it. 

Social Interaction?

This brings us to an interesting and unexpected social piece that we have observed with Ryan, but especially today. We've noticed that he likes watching J., his Unity partner, play and do circle activities.  J. is verbal and much more high functioning than Ryan, so we've seen Ryan really paying attention to what J.'s saying and doing sometimes.  I wonder if it reminds him of his daycare friends?  Anyway, when we first entered the Blue Room, J. was playing with some dinosaurs. When Ryan wandered over to him, J. shared (with no prompt!) a dinosaur with Ryan, and Ryan (with no prompt!) accepted and held onto it, and stood there looking at J.  We were amazed by that excellent interaction by both boys! 

A little later, while we were all still in the Blue Room, Ryan got interested in the train set where J. was doing some work.  He stood up and looked at it, and he watched J. playing with his mom and T. L. asked T. if it would be okay for Ryan to join in.  So, with a little coaxing, they got Ryan to go to the train table and play. Ryan was mostly grabbing pieces and trying to mouth them (while we tried to block and redirect!), but L. said, "Look at him!  He's totally watching J. play. He's looking down at his own toy, then looking back over at J." and so on. 

Again, during circle time, L. noticed that Ryan was really paying attention to J. when J. was taking his turns doing circle activities or singing the circle songs.  They talked about maybe letting J. lead/model some of the circle time songs in the future because Ryan enjoys watching him so much (and J. knows all the words and actions to some of the songs, like "Head and Shoulders" and "Wheels on the Bus").

At the end of our day (10:45-ish, although it was a good day), Ryan didn't want to put his coat on and leave. Just as we were getting ready to go, the STEPS program kids came in from recess, and several came over to play on the climber/slide in the Rainbow Room. Ryan got down on his hands and knees and was peeking through some crawling holes in the climber to watch the other kids play!  I know he enjoys watching Andrea and Kevin play when they're running around and laughing, but I've never seen him so intrigued by other kids.  We are hoping we can use this social interest to build on his incidental skills, like accepting and holding items from a peer. 

 

The Opposites

Now here's what I meant by the opposites:

For the shape sorter, he wanted to get access to the pieces so badly. He didn't want to just hold one and push it in where we showed him.  He wanted to mouth the ones with hard edges. And he wanted particular pieces.  L. decided we should use this intrinsic motivation to our advantage.  The overall goal isn't just to get him to put a shape in a hole; it's to improve his hand-eye coordination and problem solving skills. L. prompted him to put the shape Ryan liked in the hole. Then, she saw Ryan trying to reach through the hole to get it back!  So, she loosened the lid just a little to see what he'd do. Ryan put his fingers through the hole, tugged the lid off, and grabbed the piece he wanted! Talk about problem solving all by himself!  Thus, we modified our trials so that Ryan was putting a shape in, but then encouraged to pull the lid off by himself to get the piece he wanted.  He even managed to pop off the lid himself a few times, without it loosened, and without us verbally prompting, because he really wanted those certain shapes.

Something similar happened in the Yellow Room (formerly known as STR) with the ring stacker. He was so-so about me wrist prompting him to put the rings on the stacker, but he seemed like he just wanted to play with the rings. So, L. decided to do the opposite again: instead putting on the rings, have him take them off!  L. held the base and the rings, and Ryan only needed verbal prompts to grasp and pull off the rings by himself. He loved it! 

Another sort of opposite led us to a new incidental learning goal for him. When Ryan had finished a few trials and we were giving him some down time, he just sat there looking tired/bored.  L. jokingly said, "Ryan, you can go play!" Then, we realized, it didn't seem as if he understood he was free to go and just have some fun!  So, she told me to put a some of his reinforcers a few feet away, and verbally prompt him to "Go play!" while gesturing at his toys.  It took a few seconds, but he caught on; he went over and chose a reinforcer to play with. The next time we tried it, he was more tired, and needed a little more prompting.  Therefore, getting Ryan to understand and follow through on the fact that it's time to "Go play!" has been added to his incidental goals.

The other opposite was one Ryan gave us today in terms of prompting. Normally, we've been saying (and doing) that Ryan should be held at the wrist before we encourage him to do an activity or reach for an item. Today, he was having more success when we let him grab the object first, and after we wrist prompted him to do something with it.  Way to confuse us, buddy!

 

He's Such a Three-Year-Old!

We are starting to figure Ryan out.

One of the things we are seeing is that his meltdowns, well, . . . they look an awful lot like the regular tantrums of an angry three-year-old.  Today, there were a few times where he started to fuss, or tried to lay down on the floor, and we just sat back and watched him.  We didn't feed into it.  We didn't recognize or reinforce it in any way. After a moment, he seemed to settle himself.

Not only that, but we've also noticed times where he'll be fussing one second, then almost get a sly smile on his face the next. What is that? Is he trying to play our emotions?

The other big thing we've figured out about Ryan is that he's gotten so used to having help for everything, he doesn't want to do it himself. He automatically expects Mommy to do it.  For example, Ryan won't stand up unless I take his hands and pull him up. When he's eating with a spoon, his first instinct is to get me to hold the spoon and feed him; even when he's holding it, he waits for me to prompt him to guide it to his mouth or give him another scoop.  So, L.decided we'd test him a bit today, to see what he can really do.

After morning song, when it was time to transition to the Blue Room, she had me walk out of the room and call to Ryan to follow me. He didn't come. She went so far as to shut off the lights and walk out, too. He still sat on the floor looking at us. Finally, I pulled out a reinforcer to entice him, and with L. giving a little nudge from behind, he got up and followed us.  We tried this again later in the day; after about 3 prompts, he finally got up on his own and followed. Stinker! We know he can do it!

We tried for eating independence, too. Ryan did well reaching for things, and I prompted him for the "more" and pointing, but he still wanted me to hold his spoon.  Today, I set up his spoon in the yogurt cup for each attempt, but made him do the rest (pick it up, put it in his mouth, set it down).  It was a huge mess, but he did try very hard, and he fed himself probably half a container of yogurt.  It's amazing what this child can do when I step back a bit and encourage his independence.  L. and I agree we can start fading back my assistance of Ryan in many areas. It's just a habit we've both gotten so used to, but it's time for my little man to test himself and see what he's really capable of.

Another thing we discussed today is Ryan's perceptive language. How much does he understand of what we're saying? How much is he picking up on when others around him are talking? L. thinks she sees signs that he understands almost everything we are saying. There have just been too many coincidences where we're talking about something, and he'll do something related.  For example: "Oh, I think he'll need a wrist prompt to push the car," and suddenly he'll just push the car, totally independently, without us even asking/prompting.  Or, "I'm not sure he has the finger strength to hold the spoon," and he'll suddenly grab at the spoon.  I can't think of more specific examples, but there have been lots. I see it at home, too, where I think, "Well, that was good timing!" or "What a coincidence he just did that!"  Actually, as we were having this conversation over snack, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye and he positively smirked. I said, "You know we're talking about you, stinker!" and he leaned into me and started laughing! 

The question now is, How do we get him to exhibit that independence and understanding appropriately, without pushing him too hard and too fast? It's a fine line between testing them outside of their comfort zone and setting them off into extreme discomfort. Hmm.

PS: I got 21 parent points today! Go Mommy! ;)