Just over a month ago, I got the news from Summit Centre that the plan was to transition Ryan to full-time kindergarten around the third week of October. You can read about that here .
Well, today is October 1, and we have yet to book a transition meeting with the school.
Let me backtrack and explain a bit.
I had my monthly meeting with Ryan's senior therapist at Summit on September 25. At that meeting, she gave me the final, signed copy of Ryan's discharge report. She gave me a copy of all of Ryan's programs from his binder as they currently stand. She gave me a copy of the results of the two most recent VB-MAPP assessments Summit Centre completed with him in case any of the professionals he works with in the near future might request it. We talked about getting her into the school to observe Ryan and make some final suggestions for his teachers and EAs. It sounds like she's got everything lined up to discharge Ryan soon, right?
But when I asked if we were still looking at starting kindergarten full time on Monday, October 19, she hesitated. "I'd like to go in and observe Ryan. We need to contact the teacher to set up a transition meeting. And then we'll go from there. We'll see what happens" was the gist of her reply.
Huh?
Okay, so this is where MY issues with this situation come into play. I thrive on schedule and preparation and knowing things in advance. I struggle with last-minute decisions and play-it-by-ear and unknowns. Hence, this is driving me nuts!
I need that firm date. I need to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for that separation from Summit's services. I need to make plans and notify people about the upcoming changes in our schedule. I also have a desire to do something special as a farewell and thank-you gift for the staff, but I can't really plan that until I know what Ryan's last day will be.
In some ways, I think I've kind of already started the process of detaching myself from my connections with Summit. I've talked to the Executive Director of the Centre about resigning my position as Parent Representative on the Board of Directors by December. I signed up for a Mindfulness Training program for parents of children with autism on Thursday mornings (I could never do that before because Thursday is home program day). I've started investigating alternative methods/providers of private therapy for Ryan that we might pursue to keep him engaged in learning with autism specialists. Mentally, I find I am a little less engaged in Summit activities. I'm not as invested in the homework programs or the Thursdays at home or the upcoming events at the Centre. Don't misunderstand: I'm still doing what I need to do to help Ryan learn and fulfill my obligations. But in the back of my mind, I have this little voice that keeps saying, "There's only ___ Thursdays left" and "I don't need to stress over getting homework done" and "There's only one monthly meeting left" and "I won't have to drive across the city anymore" and "I won't be forced to houseclean on Wednesdays," etc. I know it sounds kind of silly or even careless, but starting to detach myself from the Centre this way helps me cope with the transition. But not knowing that final date is making me stressed out a lot. I need that target to aim for, so to speak. It's hard to explain.
It's not like I'm trying to rush Ryan away from the Summit Centre. That's hardly the case; if you read my previous post, you know I'm terrified to be without their support! It's more like pulling off that bandage. I'd rather rip it off immediately and deal with a big dose of change than keep drawing it out slowly and painfully. I just want it over with.
I now understand something that Kevin often goes through when he's told we're gong out somewhere. He will get upset, protest, and insist he's not going. Suddenly, he'll turn around, put his shoes on, and say, "I want to go NOW." He will literally go out to the car, open it up, and sit in his seat until everyone else is ready to leave the house. I get it now. When he's accepted the transition, he just wants to get it over with. Well, that's the state of mind I'm in right now.
As I said, we had our monthly meeting about a week ago, and 2 days ago there was a note in Ryan's communication book from the senior therapist saying she'd left a message for our school's special education coordinator to call her to set up a transition meeting. (I forgot we'd need to have him there.) I know this guy's schedule is crazy right now because they only have so many days after the start of the school year to get everyone in his family of schools' IEPs settled. Then, we have to coordinate everyone's schedules for a meeting (senior therapist, principal, spec. ed. coordinator, teachers, me). And we'll meet. And we'll plan. And the senior therapist still needs to go in and observe and make recommendations, as I said before.
Waiting and wondering, like always.
If I'm having this hard of a time with transitions, no wonder my boys are struggling with them! Is it a coincidence that the only difficulties Ryan is having at kindergarten, according to his teachers and EAs, is during transition times? He cries when I drop him off, when coming in from recess, switching rooms during school, and when I pick him up from school. Kevin struggles with transitions, too. Drop off and pick up times are hit and miss; they can be great or horrible. He also struggles whenever the regular schedule for the day is interrupted (say, by an assembly or special event) or when his usual teacher is away.
So, yeah: The Trouble with Transitions. Me and my kids don't do transitions well. Nope.
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