Ryan's First Day of Junior Kindergarten

I've decided to do this entry in two parts, before and after Ryan's school day, because there's so many impressions I want to record now, and I'm sure I'll have plenty to say when I've found out how his (half) day went, too.

Part I: Morning and Drop-off
This morning, Ryan's mood was so-so from the moment he woke up.  He wasn't really upset, but there were occasional whiny stretches. He ate and got dressed okay (some protesting), but it wasn't anything unusual.  I think he sensed something was up, though.  Andrea and Kevin were both a bit hyper, and Andrea was giving Ryan lots of attention, and kept saying things like, "You're going to Lassaline today! You're going to JK! Are you excited?"   To me, Andrea confided a few times, "I'm worried about Ryan. Will he be okay? What if he cries?" Oh, my little Mommy #2. I explained that although I shared her concerns, I know they have a good team to look after him. I also pointed out that she will probably be able to go see him during morning recess.

Anyways, I was doing okay until we went to go out to the van to leave. Ryan was holding my hand, and he planted his feet a bit, and started to tremble a little. He also had an iron grip on my hand. Oh, boy, I thought, He knows something big is happening today. So, as I loaded him into the van, I took a deep breath and chatted cheerily to him about how much fun he was going to have at JK today.

When we arrived at the school, I found a parking spot out back. Andrea decided to walk with Ryan and I to the front of the school.   I took the opportunity to get a few first-day-of-school pictures away from the crowd of arriving parents and kids. (Kevin didn't feel like waiting. He went to his play area.)

Andrea: "Welcome to Lassaline, Ryan! It'll be fun!"

Ryan: "But I don't get it. Why do I have to go HERE?!"
Andrea: "Relax . . . Take a deep breath . . . It'll be just fine."

Andrea: "C'mon, Buddy, it's time to go in!"

Ryan: "I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS . . . !"

Anyway, we walked around to the front of the building, with Ryan holding my hand on one side and Andrea's on the other. Andrea said, "He's got a death-grip on me!" I think he felt a little more secure flanked by his mommy and big sister.  However, he did fine when we parted ways with Andrea by the front entrance. He looked a bit confused but waved bye-bye to her when she waved good-bye to him.

Then, Ryan and I went into the main entrance of the school. They had quite the welcoming committee waiting for us by the front office! There were two EAs (his morning EA and the float EA), a representative from one of the board's Spec. Ed. teams, and the principal. They all introduced themselves (I'm so bad with names, especially in high-stress situations, but I do know the principal already) and said hello to Ryan.  Of course, we got the usual, "Oh, he has such beautiful eyes!" Then, they invited me back to the classroom to see the teachers and help Ryan get his things settled.

After we entered the coatroom in his class, the teachers came in to say hi. When we showed Ryan where to hang up his bag and encouraged him to take off his coat and hang it on his hook, then he got a kind of scared again.  He got confused and needed some assistance, and he was crying a little bit. But when Mrs. Cota (his teacher) started talking to him, he went right over and cuddled against her, and his whining settled a bit. Aww . . . I thought this was a positive moment to take my leave. The EA said I could pick him up around 11:30 today at the office (remember, he's only doing a half day today). So, we waved bye-bye to each other and the principal walked me out.

I think the principal could tell I was barely holding it together because she kept saying, "Call me if you need anything . . . If you want to check in you can . . . Call me if you have any concerns . . ." And it was the look of kindness and empathy in her eyes that almost made me start bawling as we walked down the hallway.

Anyway, I am proud to say, I managed to hold it together. I got choked up, but no tears.  And overall, Ryan did pretty well, too.  I mean, he whines and cries some mornings when he gets dropped off at Summit, so I'd say he did pretty well for this big transition morning.

As a treat/reward for myself, I made a run to Timmy's and got myself a pumpkin spice muffin and a pumpkin spice tea.  The muffin was fairly yummy (I liked the decadent filling),and the tea is making the whole house smell awesome. :)

Now, I just have to get through the next hour and 15 minutes (but who's counting?) until I can go pick him up and hear how he did. 

I'll admit, the phone rang a few minutes ago, and I immediately thought, "Oh, no, it's the school. What's wrong?!" But thank goodness for caller ID. It was just the dentist office. ;) I'll need to get over this jumping-every-time-the-phone-rings thing quickly.

Part II: Pick-up

When I went to pick up Ryan, the principal was manning the secretary's desk. She said, "It went well."  Then, as I was sitting on a bench waiting for them to come out with Ryan, she said, "That was really hard on you."  I kind of laughed in embarrassment and said, "Was it that obvious?" but she smiled kindly and said, "It's always hard."

A minute or two later, Ryan came out with his morning EA.  They were playing peek-a-boo through the door at me.  Ryan was half giggling and half whining like he usually does when someone's trying to cheer him up.  When he came out to me, he walked right into my arms and snuggled in for a big cuddle!  The EA acknowledged, "He definitely enjoys his snuggles!" She didn't have to much to say except that it "went well" and he'd just finished his milk.  She also mentioned that he'd folded his hands and put them up by his face, and asked if that meant he was tired.  (No, I've never seen him do that.) I thought it might be a different version of his "more" sign, but they thought he seemed kind of tired. Whatever.

So, I asked them (another lady had come out with her--maybe another EA?) if he was going to be doing a full day on Wednesday. They looked at each other and hesitated.  The principal had come over, too, and she glanced at them, then asked, "Are you coming back later to pick up the kids? If so, we'll talk as a team and have an answer for you by then." Okay, fine, so I guess I'll find out later.

Ryan waved bye-bye to everyone and we went out to the van.  He got a bit whiny and shaky on the way. I think it's because none of this fits his usual schedule. First he's brought to this new place, stays there for a few hours, then leaves with mom at lunchtime.  Hopefully, the new routine (with FULL days) will be more familiar, and less upsetting, as the weeks go by. 

As we were walking to the van, I stopped and snapped a post-first-day picture of Ryan in front of the school and the little grass patch with the school logo. The picture captures his mood pretty well: still-not-sure-about-all-this.

And neither is Mommy. I have so many questions. Why are they hesitating about full days? That was the original plan. What is their definition of "it went well"? Did Ryan cry a lot?  Did he try to do some of the classroom activities?  Did he eat all of his snack?  What did he think of the other kids? What did they think of Ryan? Did he go out for morning recess?  What did he do during recess?  Did he have any diaper changes? Were there any issues with doing the diaper changes at school? Did he stay in the classroom the whole time? Did he need a sensory break? Did he have any happy/funny/cute moments? 

All I know is since we've come home, he's been his usual contented self, wandering around playing and getting into stuff. So, that's a good thing.

happy, relaxing, and having fun shaking Mommy's bottle of Crystal Light ;) 

Part III: Vagueness

After school, I didn't get any more answers. I chatted for a minute to the lady who will be Ryan's afternoon EA (whenever he's finally there for a full day!), but she had no answers for me. She got the principal for me, who was busy and flustered, and said she'd call me tomorrow. Again, she reassured me that "it went well."

This evening, we had parent and sibling groups at Summit Centre. Many of the staff were still there, and eager to hear about Ryan's day. I told them, "Here's what I was told: 'It went well.' I guess that's better than them saying it went badly." The look on their faces was priceless. They had the same reaction as me: "Well, isn't that informative!" LOL I also shocked Ryan's senior therapist when I told her he'd only been in  for a half day, and they were hesitating on his schedule for Wednesday.   She immediately said she would a) like to go in to observe and see if there any issues (if they will let her) and b) put together a communication book with pages that can go between Summit, home, and JK.  I told her how I had tried to bring in one of Summit's communication book pages to show the staff at Lassaline (but they were too busy), and she assured me she'd put something together for Wednesday for us in the hopes that they would be open to using such a thing.  I assured her they are, as we used something with Kevin in previous years, but this would be even better, with a more streamlined checklist and daily info.

So, that was Day 1.  As with everything on this autism journey, we have a long, winding road ahead of us. ;)