Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Road Less Traveled . . . Part II

About 10 months ago, I wrote a blog post about big changes ahead in my life, especially in terms of my teaching career. I decided to take a year's leave of absence to focus on my health and my family with the possibility of it being a permanent move. I suggest you read that post again to refresh your memory regarding my motivations and concerns at that time: "Big Changes Ahead: Taking the Road Less Traveled." Really, my motivations and concerns are the same now as they were then, leading me to make a final decision.

On Monday, June 2, 2014, I submitted my official letter of resignation to the Windsor-Essex Catholic District School Board. Effective June 30, 2014, my formal teaching career is done.

It has been an amazing year. This has truly been one of the happiest years of my life.  My gastric bypass surgery went well, and I've achieved my health and weight-loss goals.  I'm down 115 pounds, and running 5K almost every other day. I'm much more relaxed. I don't feel guilty anymore about not being there enough for my children, especially not dedicating enough time and energy to Ryan's therapies.

Still, not everyone understands this choice. Andrea and Kevin are too young to fully appreciate the benefits of having mom at home.  Andrea sometimes hurts my feelings when she says things like, "It's not fair! You get to stay home all day and do nothing!" She also doesn't like that we don't have as much money as we used to, so we're not getting that in-ground pool anymore.  :p

My principal and union president don't understand, either. They've both very kindly presented me with several options that might lead to staying on with the school board.  I think they're just unsure how to handle my situation since there's very little precedent for it.  It's kind of like retiring at age 36. I get it. It's weird. But it's what I need to do for me and my family.

Admittedly, in one of my early emails to the principal indicating I'd like to resign, I vented a little about my unhappiness with the continuing end-of-year-staffing struggles at St. Michael's and a few other staffing choices made by the Board this year that were questionable (I won't get into the details of those).  My goal was simply to make it clear that I care what is happening at that school, and although I'm leaving, I want what's best for our students and original/core group of staff. Both my principal and the union president were concerned that was my major motivation for resigning.  No, it's not; it just makes my decision so much easier and satisfying, putting that stress and negativity behind me. Again, I would probably be a supernumerary teacher; if I had a position, I was offered only a half-time schedule at St. Michael's and a half-time schedule at another school to make a full day. Ugh.

How on earth could I work that crazy schedule with Ryan's new, complex schedule which starts in September?  He's going to Summit two days a week, Lassaline (integration at Andrea and Kevin's school) two days a week, and there will still be home day on Thursdays. Plus, all of the time and parent involvement commitments at Summit (and home) continue.

People ask me, "So, what are your plans?" Um, I think it's pretty clear.  I'm a full-time Autism Momma. That's my plan. Trust me, with 2 little guys on the spectrum (one on the more severe end), I'm not sitting here twiddling my thumbs or looking for things to occupy my time. Do I need to list it all for you?

And you know what? Maybe I do have a little more ME time. But I need that. Desperately.  I think it's the number one reason why Rod offered this choice to me last year. I was suffering from caregiver burnout. Now, I certainly can't claim I never get stressed out,  but it's manageable. I don't feel hopeless and overwhelmed.  I'm so much healthier than I was at this time last year. And I need to be mentally, emotionally, and physically strong for the long haul because my children, my boys especially, are going to need me to be around to advocate for them and take care of them as long as I possibly can.

I am content with my decision. I am taking it day-by-day. I no longer have a "big plan" for where my life is going. I'm just going with it, doing the best that I can for my family. On to the next chapter! :)





1 comment:

  1. Very well put. Detailed, succinct and completely rational. Anybody that doesn't understand that you're doing what's best for your family by doing what's best for yourself is clueless. Bon voyage. ;)

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