At the end of April, when we had the transition-to-school meeting for Ryan, the principal had suggested I bring him in one morning to check out the school and get a little familiarity with what will become part of his new routine in the fall. On Tuesday morning, I took Ryan to H.J. Lassaline Elementary School for a visit. Lassaline is the school that Andrea and Kevin attend, and Ryan will be going there two days a week next year for JK. [The plan for September looks like Monday and Wednesday at Lassaline, Tuesday and Friday at Summit, and Thursdays are still home therapy days.]
Ryan and I went into the school when we dropped Andrea and Kevin off on Tuesday morning. He was a little hesitant as we walked up to the building, but stopped to watch the JKs playing in the Kindergarten area at the front of the building. He smiled at them a bit, and I thought that was a good sign. I told him, "That is one of the places where the JKs play. Maybe you will play there next year!"
Then we headed into the building. As we came up the doors, he whined for a second, and I thought, "Uh oh . . ." But as we headed in, his curiosity overcame his confusion/anxiety. The principal was waiting for us as soon as we came in the doors and greeted him with a cheerful, "Hi, Ryan!" She got down on his level, and explained to him that she was going to show him around some places in the school he would be seeing next year. She offered him her hand; he touched it, but wasn't quite ready to hold her hand yet. Instead, he held Mommy's hand, but followed Mrs. E. willingly.
First, we walked down the hallway to one of the JK rooms. It was pretty quiet because the kids were just lining up to come in for the morning. We let Ryan walk in and look around a bit. One of the EAs and another little boy were in there. The boy was very excited because he thought Mrs. E. was bringing them a new student for their class, and he kept chatting to Ryan and asking his name. Ryan just smiled, but it was cute.
Next we headed back down the hallway into the gym. Mrs. E. explained this was where they had lots of room to run around and play games. Ryan seemed kind of overwhelmed by this big, empty space. He just stood there, looking around with big eyes, and clinging to my hand.
Next, we headed into the open concept area to see the computer area. Kevin was lined up with his class, so we stopped to say hi. Ryan seemed pleased to see Kevin, but Kevin was kind of thrown-off by our presence. Having Mommy and Ryan at school is not part of Kevin's routine! Anyway, we also saw Kevin's teacher, and she wanted to come and meet Ryan. So, we chatted with her for a minute or two. Everyone was commenting on how much the two boys look alike, and how cute Ryan is.
I was pleased that Ryan was so calm and content, and even smiling at people, as we wandered around. It was a busy time, with the kids just getting settled in for the morning, in an open-concept school. We only went a few steps further and encountered Andrea and her teacher. Andrea's teacher was also eager to be introduced to Ryan because she'd heard so much about him. Andrea later told me that her teacher thought Ryan was "so cute!"
Another great thing was Ryan's response to greetings. At Summit, they've been working lately to get him to wave hello and good-bye to different people when they greet him verbally (no waving). At Lassaline, he amazed me by how many times he waved hello and good-bye to complete strangers who greeted him. Talk about excellent generalization of a skill! I was thrilled! [So were the people at Summit when I told them about it. ;) ]
Finally, we went down the hallway to the other Kindergarten area (the Kindergarten classes are not part of the open concept Lassaline). In there, we met the teacher, Mrs. C., at the door. She invited Ryan in and we stood still for a moment or two for O Canada and prayers. I had to chuckle when Ryan got noisy/excited during prayers, so I hushed him, and Mrs. C. said, "Oh, don't worry about that! These guys can't even be quiet right now!" (motioning to the many restless JK/SKs, who were, in fact, talking and moving around). Then, she got down on Ryan's level and asked me, "How are his sensory issues?" before she offered him her hand. Now THAT is a teacher who knows her autism stuff! Ryan took a liking to her; he smiled, made some chatty noises, took her hand, and even leaned against her for some cuddles! The principal was impressed. She kept saying, "Wow, look how he's bonding with you already!" And of course, I'm thinking, "Mmmhmm . . . I know which teacher I want him to have next year! I hope the principal keeps this in mind (although I have no real say in the matter)!" Now, I could be mistaken, but through all the JK/SK hubbub I think I heard Mrs. C. (the teacher) say, "I have a son with autism." If she does, that would explain why she totally seemed to get it right. :)
As we were leaving, we passed by Kevin's classroom again, and his teacher asked us if we could stop by for a second. The class was intrigued when they heard Ryan was visiting, and they all wanted to meet Kevin's brother. They were SO cute. They were saying things like, "Aww, he's cute!" and "He looks just like a small Kevin!" By the time we left, they had officially nicknamed him "Kevin Jr." Kevin, meanwhile, was sitting at his desk frowning and diligently writing the day's notes in his agenda. As I mentioned before, Mom and Ryan invading his school space is NOT part of his routine, so it was uncomfortable for him. I said hi and gave Kevin a little hug, but we didn't stay too long because I didn't want to upset him. When we left, the kids said good-bye and Ryan smiled and waved at them!
Thus, our first visit to "big kid" school was a huge success. It left me feeling happy and confident that the staff and students at Lassaline are going to treasure Ryan as we do.
We are planning to do another visit in August, once we find out for sure who Ryan's teacher is going to be. Then we'll be able to take him to get to know his teacher and familiarize him with his classroom. The plan is to take Kevin, too, to meet his new teacher and see his new classroom. Kevin has gotten very attached to his teacher over the course of the year. Mrs. B. has been great with him, and he's going to miss her. She's been trying to prepare him for the changes in September, but he said, "Why can't you be my teacher next year, and the next, and the next?" She said, "Well, I teach Grade 1, and you're going to Grade 2. You'll still see me, and besides, what happens when you get to grade 8?" Kevin responded, with a big sigh, "Well, I guess I'll just have to move on." LOL! :)
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
The Road Less Traveled . . . Part II
About 10 months ago, I wrote a blog post about big changes ahead in my life, especially in terms of my teaching career. I decided to take a year's leave of absence to focus on my health and my family with the possibility of it being a permanent move. I suggest you read that post again to refresh your memory regarding my motivations and concerns at that time: "Big Changes Ahead: Taking the Road Less Traveled." Really, my motivations and concerns are the same now as they were then, leading me to make a final decision.
On Monday, June 2, 2014, I submitted my official letter of resignation to the Windsor-Essex Catholic District School Board. Effective June 30, 2014, my formal teaching career is done.
It has been an amazing year. This has truly been one of the happiest years of my life. My gastric bypass surgery went well, and I've achieved my health and weight-loss goals. I'm down 115 pounds, and running 5K almost every other day. I'm much more relaxed. I don't feel guilty anymore about not being there enough for my children, especially not dedicating enough time and energy to Ryan's therapies.
Still, not everyone understands this choice. Andrea and Kevin are too young to fully appreciate the benefits of having mom at home. Andrea sometimes hurts my feelings when she says things like, "It's not fair! You get to stay home all day and do nothing!" She also doesn't like that we don't have as much money as we used to, so we're not getting that in-ground pool anymore. :p
My principal and union president don't understand, either. They've both very kindly presented me with several options that might lead to staying on with the school board. I think they're just unsure how to handle my situation since there's very little precedent for it. It's kind of like retiring at age 36. I get it. It's weird. But it's what I need to do for me and my family.
Admittedly, in one of my early emails to the principal indicating I'd like to resign, I vented a little about my unhappiness with the continuing end-of-year-staffing struggles at St. Michael's and a few other staffing choices made by the Board this year that were questionable (I won't get into the details of those). My goal was simply to make it clear that I care what is happening at that school, and although I'm leaving, I want what's best for our students and original/core group of staff. Both my principal and the union president were concerned that was my major motivation for resigning. No, it's not; it just makes my decision so much easier and satisfying, putting that stress and negativity behind me. Again, I would probably be a supernumerary teacher; if I had a position, I was offered only a half-time schedule at St. Michael's and a half-time schedule at another school to make a full day. Ugh.
How on earth could I work that crazy schedule with Ryan's new, complex schedule which starts in September? He's going to Summit two days a week, Lassaline (integration at Andrea and Kevin's school) two days a week, and there will still be home day on Thursdays. Plus, all of the time and parent involvement commitments at Summit (and home) continue.
People ask me, "So, what are your plans?" Um, I think it's pretty clear. I'm a full-time Autism Momma. That's my plan. Trust me, with 2 little guys on the spectrum (one on the more severe end), I'm not sitting here twiddling my thumbs or looking for things to occupy my time. Do I need to list it all for you?
And you know what? Maybe I do have a little more ME time. But I need that. Desperately. I think it's the number one reason why Rod offered this choice to me last year. I was suffering from caregiver burnout. Now, I certainly can't claim I never get stressed out, but it's manageable. I don't feel hopeless and overwhelmed. I'm so much healthier than I was at this time last year. And I need to be mentally, emotionally, and physically strong for the long haul because my children, my boys especially, are going to need me to be around to advocate for them and take care of them as long as I possibly can.
I am content with my decision. I am taking it day-by-day. I no longer have a "big plan" for where my life is going. I'm just going with it, doing the best that I can for my family. On to the next chapter! :)
On Monday, June 2, 2014, I submitted my official letter of resignation to the Windsor-Essex Catholic District School Board. Effective June 30, 2014, my formal teaching career is done.
It has been an amazing year. This has truly been one of the happiest years of my life. My gastric bypass surgery went well, and I've achieved my health and weight-loss goals. I'm down 115 pounds, and running 5K almost every other day. I'm much more relaxed. I don't feel guilty anymore about not being there enough for my children, especially not dedicating enough time and energy to Ryan's therapies.
Still, not everyone understands this choice. Andrea and Kevin are too young to fully appreciate the benefits of having mom at home. Andrea sometimes hurts my feelings when she says things like, "It's not fair! You get to stay home all day and do nothing!" She also doesn't like that we don't have as much money as we used to, so we're not getting that in-ground pool anymore. :p
My principal and union president don't understand, either. They've both very kindly presented me with several options that might lead to staying on with the school board. I think they're just unsure how to handle my situation since there's very little precedent for it. It's kind of like retiring at age 36. I get it. It's weird. But it's what I need to do for me and my family.
Admittedly, in one of my early emails to the principal indicating I'd like to resign, I vented a little about my unhappiness with the continuing end-of-year-staffing struggles at St. Michael's and a few other staffing choices made by the Board this year that were questionable (I won't get into the details of those). My goal was simply to make it clear that I care what is happening at that school, and although I'm leaving, I want what's best for our students and original/core group of staff. Both my principal and the union president were concerned that was my major motivation for resigning. No, it's not; it just makes my decision so much easier and satisfying, putting that stress and negativity behind me. Again, I would probably be a supernumerary teacher; if I had a position, I was offered only a half-time schedule at St. Michael's and a half-time schedule at another school to make a full day. Ugh.
How on earth could I work that crazy schedule with Ryan's new, complex schedule which starts in September? He's going to Summit two days a week, Lassaline (integration at Andrea and Kevin's school) two days a week, and there will still be home day on Thursdays. Plus, all of the time and parent involvement commitments at Summit (and home) continue.
People ask me, "So, what are your plans?" Um, I think it's pretty clear. I'm a full-time Autism Momma. That's my plan. Trust me, with 2 little guys on the spectrum (one on the more severe end), I'm not sitting here twiddling my thumbs or looking for things to occupy my time. Do I need to list it all for you?
And you know what? Maybe I do have a little more ME time. But I need that. Desperately. I think it's the number one reason why Rod offered this choice to me last year. I was suffering from caregiver burnout. Now, I certainly can't claim I never get stressed out, but it's manageable. I don't feel hopeless and overwhelmed. I'm so much healthier than I was at this time last year. And I need to be mentally, emotionally, and physically strong for the long haul because my children, my boys especially, are going to need me to be around to advocate for them and take care of them as long as I possibly can.
I am content with my decision. I am taking it day-by-day. I no longer have a "big plan" for where my life is going. I'm just going with it, doing the best that I can for my family. On to the next chapter! :)
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